Picture this: It's a regular Tuesday morning. You're getting ready for work, thinking about the grocery list, maybe wondering if you remembered to switch the laundry. Then the phone rings. Or maybe you're the one who slipped on that wet bathroom floor, and now you're waking up somewhere unfamiliar, fluorescent lights humming overhead, loved ones gathered with worried eyes.
Life has a way of reminding us: sometimes gently, sometimes not: that we're not promised tomorrow.
If you're reading this because you've recently lost someone you love, I want you to know something important: You're going to be okay. Not today, maybe not next week, but eventually. And right now, in the middle of what feels like chaos, there are people and resources ready to help you through.
This post isn't about rushing you through your grief. It's about giving you a roadmap for the "business of death": all those practical things that need attention even when your heart is breaking. Because while grief doesn't follow a timeline, unfortunately, paperwork does.
In those first few days, everything feels surreal. You might find yourself forgetting to eat, unable to sleep, or sleeping too much. All of that is normal. All of that is okay.
But there are a few things that genuinely can't wait. Here's where to focus your limited energy:
This might sound strange, but trust me: order 15 to 25 certified copies of the death certificate. Banks, insurance companies, the Social Security Administration, retirement plan administrators, and more will all require original certified copies. Running out and having to reorder later is an added stress you don't need.
In the first week, you'll want to contact:
If your loved one worked for a small business, don't overlook their small business retirement plan. Many employers participate in plans like Castle Rock PEP, where benefits and account information can be accessed with proper documentation.
You don't have to do this alone. Accept the casseroles. Let someone else make the phone calls. If friends ask, "What can I do?": give them a task. People genuinely want to help; let them.
Once the initial shock begins to settle (even slightly), it's time to get organized. This doesn't mean you need to have everything figured out: it just means creating a system so nothing falls through the cracks.
Gather the people who need to be involved: whether that's a spouse, adult children, or a trusted advisor: and lay everything out on the table. What accounts exist? What debts? What insurance policies? What recurring bills need to be addressed?
This meeting isn't about making major decisions. It's about understanding the landscape.
Make a list of:
Having this information in one place will save you countless hours of confusion later. Castle Rock PEP has created a helpful Survivor's Financial Checklist that walks you through exactly what to gather and when.
If your loved one was employed, their workplace may offer benefits you're not aware of:
For those whose loved one participated in a pooled employer plan or other low cost 401(k) solution, reach out to the plan administrator. They can guide you through the claims process and explain your options for the account.
As the weeks pass, you'll slowly begin to feel more like yourself: even if "yourself" looks a little different now. This is the time to start thinking about longer-term decisions.
Loss has a way of making us confront our own mortality. Use this as an opportunity to:
We wrote recently about emergency planning and protecting yourself and your loved ones. It's worth a read when you're ready.
You don't need to navigate financial decisions alone. A financial advisor can help you understand:
Six months might sound like a long time, but grief doesn't follow a calendar. Some days will feel manageable; others will knock you flat. Both are part of the journey. Be patient with yourself.
At Castle Rock PEP, we talk a lot about financial wellness. Usually, that means helping small businesses offer their employees meaningful retirement plan options through our pooled employer plan. It means making saving for the future accessible and affordable.
But financial wellness is about more than retirement. It's about the peace of mind that comes from knowing you're prepared: for the expected and the unexpected.
When Michele Suriano founded Castle Rock PEP, the vision was never just about managing money. It was about caring for people. Caring for families. Understanding that behind every account number is a real human being with hopes, fears, and loved ones who depend on them.
That's why we created resources like the Survivor's Financial Checklist. Because we know that when life takes an unexpected turn, the last thing you need is to wonder where to start.
If you're reading this in the aftermath of loss, I want to leave you with this: You are stronger than you know. The fog will lift. The paperwork will get done. And one day: maybe not soon, but eventually: you'll find your footing again.
Until then, take it one day at a time. One phone call at a time. One deep breath at a time.
And know that there are people in your corner, ready to help when you need it.
Download our Survivor's Financial Checklist for a step-by-step guide through those difficult first weeks and months.
If you have questions about a loved one's retirement account or want to learn more about how Castle Rock PEP supports families through every stage of life, we're here to help.
Simplifying retirement for all. One plan. Every business.