The Gift of Certainty: Why I Pre-Planned My Final Wishes (and You Might Too)

You know that iconic Barbie moment where everything is sunshine and small talk… and then she drops: “Do you guys ever think about dying?”

Yeah. That.

Let’s talk about something most people would rather not discuss at dinner parties, or ever, really: death, final wishes, the Big Exit. (Cheeky opening aside, stay with me.)

Because this isn’t a doom-and-gloom lecture—it’s actually about something pretty empowering: planning ahead so the people you love aren’t left making impossible decisions on the hardest day of their lives. It’s about giving them the gift of certainty.

I recently added my own personal pre-planned final wishes to our Community page, and I want to tell you why. Not because I'm morbid (though I do have a dark sense of humor), but because planning ahead is one of the most loving, empowering things you can do, for yourself and for the people who'll miss you someday.

Why We Avoid "The Talk"

Here's the thing about end-of-life planning: it's not actually scary. What's scary is the avoidance of it.

We tell ourselves we'll get to it later. We're too young. We're too busy. We don't want to "jinx" anything. And honestly? Thinking about our own death just feels... uncomfortable. It's the ultimate conversation killer.

But here's what happens when we don't plan:

• Our loved ones face more than 150 decisions in the first day or two after we're gone, while they're deep in grief.
• Family members argue about what we "would have wanted" because nobody actually knows.
• People overspend on arrangements because grief clouds judgment and guilt whispers, "Don't you want to honor them properly?"
• The people we love most carry an unnecessary burden during the worst moments of their lives.

That's not the legacy any of us want to leave behind.

Flipping the Script: Planning as an Act of Love

What if we reframed the whole thing?

Instead of thinking about end-of-life planning as something dark and depressing, what if we saw it for what it really is: an act of radical love and consideration.

When you pre-plan your final wishes, you're saying to your family: "I love you too much to leave you guessing. I've got this handled. You just focus on remembering me, preferably with some good stories and maybe a few tears of laughter."

That's not morbid. That's generous.

Pre-planning gives you:

• Control over the details that matter to you, whether that's a traditional service, a celebration of life, cremation, green burial, or something totally unique
• Financial clarity so your family isn't scrambling or overspending
• Peace of mind knowing your wishes will be honored exactly as you envision
• Protection from rising costs if you choose to prepay at today's prices

And most importantly, it gives your loved ones permission to grieve without the weight of logistics on their shoulders.

My Personal Pre-Planned Final Wishes: Putting a Face to It

Sometimes it helps to see what this actually looks like in practice. That's why I decided to share my own plans on our Community page, not because my choices are perfect for everyone, but because they might spark some ideas for you.

Here's what I did:

I Worked with a Preneed Specialist

I connected with Jamie Enciso, a Preneed Specialist, who walked me through the process. Having a guide made all the difference. Jamie helped me think through options I didn't even know existed and made the whole experience feel... dare I say it... manageable. Even a little empowering.

If you've never heard of a preneed specialist before, think of them as the financial wellness advisor for your final chapter. They're there to help you make informed decisions without the pressure of a crisis moment.

I Chose Parting Stones

For my final wishes, I selected Parting Stones. If you're not familiar, Parting Stones transforms cremated remains into beautiful, solidified stones instead of traditional ash.

Why did I choose this? Honestly, I love the idea of something my loved ones can hold, display, or even take with them. It feels less like an ending and more like... a transformation. Plus, it sparks conversations (which, if you know me, is very on-brand).

This might not be the right choice for you, and that's completely okay! The point is that I got to choose. I got to envision what felt right for my story.

I Added a Travel Plan (Just in Case)

Here's where it gets a little more... me.

I also set up a Travel Plan by Inman, just in case my demise happens while I'm surfing in Sayulita. 🏄‍♀️

Yes, I'm serious. And yes, I'm smiling as I type this.

Look, I love to travel. I love adventure. And the reality is, things can happen anywhere. Having a travel plan means that if something unexpected occurs while I'm chasing waves in Mexico, my family won't have to figure out international logistics during their grief. It's handled.

That's not pessimism, that's practical optimism. I get to live my life fully, knowing I've planned for the "what ifs."

How to Get Started (Without the Overwhelm)

If you're reading this and thinking, "Okay, Michele, I get it. But where do I even begin?": I've got you.

Here's a simple roadmap:

1. Start the Conversation

Talk to your loved ones. It doesn't have to be a formal sit-down. Maybe it's a casual chat over coffee or during a long car ride. Just opening the door to the topic is a huge first step.

2. Consider What Matters to You

Do you want a traditional burial or cremation? A big service or something intimate? Music? Readings? A specific location? There are no wrong answers here: just your answers.

3. Connect with Professionals

A preneed specialist can guide you through options and help you understand costs. They're not there to sell you anything: they're there to help you make decisions that align with your values and budget.

4. Document Everything

Write it down. Share it with your family. Store copies somewhere accessible. Your wishes only work if people know about them.

If you need help getting organized, our Survivor's Financial Checklist is a great resource, and our guide on finding your footing after a loss offers perspective from the other side of this conversation.

5. Revisit Periodically

Life changes. Your wishes might too. Check in on your plans every few years to make sure they still reflect who you are.

Estate Planning Is Financial Wellness

At Castle Rock PEP, we talk a lot about financial wellness: saving for retirement, building security, planning for the future. But here's the truth: estate planning is part of that picture.

Your financial wellness journey isn't complete without considering what happens when you're no longer here. It's not just about the money you leave behind: it's about the clarity, the peace of mind, and the gift of not leaving your loved ones in the dark.

We've added a dedicated Estate Planning section to our Community page because this matters. And if sharing my own plans helps even one person feel empowered to do the same, then it was absolutely worth putting myself out there.

Your Turn: What Would You Choose?

Here's the question I left on the Community page, and I'll leave it with you too:

If you could choose anything, what would be your final wishes?

Maybe it's a celebration of life on a mountaintop. Maybe it's a quiet gathering with your closest people. Maybe it's something totally unexpected that makes your loved ones laugh and say, "Yep, that's so them."

There are so many possibilities. The only wrong choice is not making one at all.

So take a breath. Pour yourself something warm (or strong: no judgment). And start imagining. Not because it's required, but because it's a gift: to yourself and to everyone who loves you.

And if you want to see what I chose for inspiration, you know where to find me: castlerockpep.com/community.

Building financial wellness for every stage of life. That's what we do at Castle Rock PEP: one plan, every business, every chapter.